You most likely have beliefs about who you are.
Don't be too quick to believe everything you think.
Whether you realize it or not, you are way more than you think you are. It can be easy to over identify with certain parts of your personality and deny others, therefore missing the whole beautiful you.
We often unconsciously present the parts of ourselves to the world that we believe are acceptable, lovable or expected and ignore, suppress or deny the parts we deem bad, wrong, ugly, too this or not enough that.
All of our parts however, have value if we care to look.
For example; even the kindest soul, when scorned, feels anger but if they are too attached to being “kind” they might suppress that anger and respond inauthentically. They may not set proper boundaries that would make a situation better and leave them feeling more energized and empowered. The fact of the matter is that a kind person can also be fierce.
We are multifaceted beings with a lot of duality within us.
- You might believe you’re critical but upon inspection you realize you’re also sometimes very accepting.
- You might believe you’re very easy going but notice occasionally you rebel against the plan.
- Perhaps you view yourself as strong and independent and ignore the part of you that is longing for nurturing and support.
If you get too sure about who you are, the identity you’ve created, there’s a high chance you are limiting yourself.
If you want a relationship that nurtures and pampers you but you associate receiving support with weakness, you might respond unconsciously to opportunities to receive with automatic responses like; “I can do it myself.”, or “No thank you.” (when you would rather say yes please). You might also have feelings of guilt or experience pressure to reciprocate every time someone does something nice for you.
Denying the parts of ourselves we have mistakenly judged as bad or wrong doesn’t make them disappear, it just makes us less us.
Don’t miss the real you in this moment.
What more might you discover about yourself if you decided to be curious and mindful?
I’ll leave you with the words below from Donald Epstein, the creator of Network Spinal Analysis, to help mend the separation from our lost parts.
“I have polarities, rhythms and differences within me”
“I have parts that have not talked with each other for some time.”
“I have parts I like and parts I don’t like but thankfully they are all me.”